There are those annoying times when my need for the approval from people becomes greater than my desire to please God. I become frustrated and my sweetness is lost. My heart loses some of it's tenderness and I am not easily won back to God.
At these times, I am so hard on myself. Even harder on myself than I usually am. My longing for love and acceptance starts to outweigh the loveliness that God has formed in me. And that kind heart which cherishes and holds dear the needs of others becomes a gathering place for pain and despair.
And when I find myself needy and hungry and I long for satisfying companionship, I need to be gentle on myself and not despise the longing in my heart. My pain is not trivial. How can I possibly be sweet, fair and patient with others when I am not those things to myself? I need to allow God's holy gentleness to minister to me and permit myself to be comforted and encouraged by His gentle thoughts, by His gentle love. HE is never nasty, cranky or unkind. The judging, spiteful, competitive hurdles I must leap in this life require His gentleness to guide me.
So.....today I will be gentle on myself.
Searching for Silence
My life has become loud, like a thundering clamor. I feel tossed about in a raging storm, out in the darkness. I hunger for silence. And I run to places where I think I will find it, but the storm in there, too. I hunger for silence in my mind. In my spirit. In my soul. In my heart.
I realize the storm is me. I am loud, disjointed, a clanging cymbal. I rush about and I tear up the day with too much thinking. I waste the night in anxious thoughts, lost in the little ship that is me. But in the storm--miracle of miracles--I hear what God says:
"To become silent before Me is to release control over your own life and destiny. Your true life is in the silent interior of your heart where you have not yet traveled. You have stayed outside to watch the parade, to dance with the clowns, to wear their glittering costumes, and to ride the plumed pony. You sing the songs of cheated lovers and you are cheated. The world of your senses guides you.
Yes, I am in the mountains and the oceans, birds and beasts, flowers and fruits, the thunderstorms in the desert and the waving wheat and corn of the plains...all of which I created with a word.
But your soul is the home of My Spirit. Listen there for My still, small voice. Journey toward love--and without fear--and leave your noisy plans and dreams. Be still in the firey gaze of my love, even as Moses stood before the burning bush.
Resist the impulsiveness of your senses,
your intellect,
your emotions,
and come to the secret, inner home in your heart where My Spirit lives.
I will speak to you there. Lovingly and in silence.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgcugcQ9bCs
I realize the storm is me. I am loud, disjointed, a clanging cymbal. I rush about and I tear up the day with too much thinking. I waste the night in anxious thoughts, lost in the little ship that is me. But in the storm--miracle of miracles--I hear what God says:
"To become silent before Me is to release control over your own life and destiny. Your true life is in the silent interior of your heart where you have not yet traveled. You have stayed outside to watch the parade, to dance with the clowns, to wear their glittering costumes, and to ride the plumed pony. You sing the songs of cheated lovers and you are cheated. The world of your senses guides you.
Yes, I am in the mountains and the oceans, birds and beasts, flowers and fruits, the thunderstorms in the desert and the waving wheat and corn of the plains...all of which I created with a word.
But your soul is the home of My Spirit. Listen there for My still, small voice. Journey toward love--and without fear--and leave your noisy plans and dreams. Be still in the firey gaze of my love, even as Moses stood before the burning bush.
Resist the impulsiveness of your senses,
your intellect,
your emotions,
and come to the secret, inner home in your heart where My Spirit lives.
I will speak to you there. Lovingly and in silence.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgcugcQ9bCs
Lean on Me
lean your entire personality on Me
Trust in Me
for I am good, loving and just.
Do you wonder why I permit evil to exist
and why I allow My godly ones to suffer?
I tell you: wherever evil is found, it bears within itself the seeds of it's own destruction.
Only in My righteousness is there power to withstand and persevere; and only in My holiness can you stand immovable and erect. Apart from Me you can do nothing; it is Law. And the Law of the Lord is perfect. It restores the whole person, it makes wise the simple, it rejoices the heart and it enlightens the eye.
Bind My words to your heart. Speak them aloud and tie them around your neck as a golden leash. And as you walk about, you will be led and guided by My words. They will watch over you to make your sleep sweet and to keep you safe from harm. And when you are awake, they will illuminate your mind and ignite it by holy wisdom and truth...and you won't be confused.
I am the shade at your right hand. The sun will not harm you by day nor the moon by night. I keep you from harm and I watch over your life; I watch over both your comings and goings both now and forevermore..
My bountiful free gift to you is eternal life through My Son, Jesus Christ. Your fragile, human mind cannot comprehend this. Human understanding fails to comprehend this gift. So, I ask you to give me your human understanding that I might set fire to it and create crackling, sizzlling flames of truth within you.
You see, my dear one, you are not secure in your own understanding. You are secure because I say so.
lean your entire personality on Me
Trust in Me
for I am good, loving and just.
Do you wonder why I permit evil to exist
and why I allow My godly ones to suffer?
I tell you: wherever evil is found, it bears within itself the seeds of it's own destruction.
Only in My righteousness is there power to withstand and persevere; and only in My holiness can you stand immovable and erect. Apart from Me you can do nothing; it is Law. And the Law of the Lord is perfect. It restores the whole person, it makes wise the simple, it rejoices the heart and it enlightens the eye.
Bind My words to your heart. Speak them aloud and tie them around your neck as a golden leash. And as you walk about, you will be led and guided by My words. They will watch over you to make your sleep sweet and to keep you safe from harm. And when you are awake, they will illuminate your mind and ignite it by holy wisdom and truth...and you won't be confused.
I am the shade at your right hand. The sun will not harm you by day nor the moon by night. I keep you from harm and I watch over your life; I watch over both your comings and goings both now and forevermore..
My bountiful free gift to you is eternal life through My Son, Jesus Christ. Your fragile, human mind cannot comprehend this. Human understanding fails to comprehend this gift. So, I ask you to give me your human understanding that I might set fire to it and create crackling, sizzlling flames of truth within you.
You see, my dear one, you are not secure in your own understanding. You are secure because I say so.
And so as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;
bearing with one another and forgiving one another, whoever has a complaint against anyone, just as the Lord forgave you so also should you.
And beyond all these things put on love which is the perfect bond of unity
bearing with one another and forgiving one another, whoever has a complaint against anyone, just as the Lord forgave you so also should you.
And beyond all these things put on love which is the perfect bond of unity
Bitterness seeps into the basement of our lives like run-off from a broken sewer pipe. Every form of ugliness begins to float to the surface of those murky waters: prejudice and profanity, suspicion and hate, cruelty and cynicism. There is no torment like the inner torment of bitterness, which is the by-product of an unforgiving spirit. It refuses to be soothed, it refuses to be healed, it refuses to forget. There is no prison more damaging than the bars of bitterness that will not let the battle end.
Charles R. Swindoll, Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life (Portland, OR: Multnomah, 1983), p. 248
Charles R. Swindoll, Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life (Portland, OR: Multnomah, 1983), p. 248
You Deliver Me
Deep as the ocean And right as rain
This powerful emotion Lifts me up above the plain
Taking me places I never thought I'd go
Showing me a grace I never thought I'd know
When I feel like I can't go on
You deliver me
And when the road is winding And way too long
You deliver me
You deliver me
I feel like a sinner Whose sins
Have been washed clean
An absolute beginner Whose heart has never seen
I must be forgiven For sometimes asking why
I was chosen to be given You in this life
When I feel like I can't go on
You deliver me
And when the road is winding And way too long
You deliver me
You deliver me
When there's a distance
Between what I am
And who I wanna be
You deliver me
When I feel like I can't go on
You deliver me
And when the road is winding And way too long
You deliver me
You deliver me
This powerful emotion Lifts me up above the plain
Taking me places I never thought I'd go
Showing me a grace I never thought I'd know
When I feel like I can't go on
You deliver me
And when the road is winding And way too long
You deliver me
You deliver me
I feel like a sinner Whose sins
Have been washed clean
An absolute beginner Whose heart has never seen
I must be forgiven For sometimes asking why
I was chosen to be given You in this life
When I feel like I can't go on
You deliver me
And when the road is winding And way too long
You deliver me
You deliver me
When there's a distance
Between what I am
And who I wanna be
You deliver me
When I feel like I can't go on
You deliver me
And when the road is winding And way too long
You deliver me
You deliver me
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