rolling down my face. 
making my nose run.
from the very core of me.

You keep them in a bottle.  Why is that?  Do you set them on a shelf with my name on it in your heavenly apothecary?  Do you use them to water my heart when it is parched from too much heartbreak?  Do you use them to water the seedlings in someone else's heart?  I guess it's not my place to know.

But I wonder. 

And I will still cry when I need to....

Stand In The Rain-Superchic(k)

Making His Heart Glad

God, you've given me so much.  Taken away even more. 

You've given me talents and taken away things.
You've given me blessings and taken away blindness.
You've given me music and taken away madness.
You've given me spirit and taken away selfishness.
You've given me hope and taken away hate.
You've given me sunshine and taken away sadness.
You've given me righteousness and taken away regret.

I know it is for your glory and for my good.

You love me so much...I can't help but bend under the hurricane of your love.




I am so sorry for what I did.  There is no excuse; I know better.  If I knew then how sorry I'd be at that moment, I would not have done it.  I know there is no way of getting that back.  No way of regaining my innocence.  I was selfish, I wanted attention; I was one -dimensional.  O Lord, I come to you in humbleness and regret...please forgive me.  Please help me.

My Child, I am a forgiving God.  Turn to me with all of your heart and you will find Me. 
Love me with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and you will not be tripped by sin.
Your life is ever before Me:  do not worry about the past or fret over the future...these are firmly and safely in My hands.  I am leading you on the safe and narrow path.  And watch, for I am doing something new...I am He who makes a path in the wildnerness, a stream in the wastelands of your life.
I do not remember your sins; remember they have been put from you as far as the east is from the west.  I have wiped you clean by the blood of my Son.
In the midst of your anxious, overwhelming thoughts, I am there to comfort you.  My right hand holds you up and covers you in the storm of regret...you are not alone.
My word is a light on your steps.  Walk in My ways.
My word is food for your soul.  Eat until you can hold no more.
My word is a balm for your spirit.  Find your comfort within it.
Let Me be the strength and your life.

Amazing Love

Help my unbelief

I just want to praise You
Lift my hands and say I love You
You are everything to me
and I exalt your holy name on high

The highest calling?  It's to praise God.

So many times I've been singing my voice out
and my heart bursts with love for God. 
The tears begin to flow
and I am utterly overwhelmed. 

Completely taken over. 

But praising God and enjoying His presence isn't easy
when I fear that God is upset with me.
I've messed up
and I know it.
The guilt and shame are not easy to bear. 

But Jesus came
to deliver me from that fear
so that I
can be relaxed
in God's presence. 

I can come to God full of respect,

I must refuse to believe any thought that God is angry with me.

Because He's not.

It's not sin that hinders me.  It's unbelief.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and don't rely on your own understandings.
Proverbs 3:5
All around me is discord.  There is pain, frustration, disillusionment, unhappiness...decay.  So much turmoil and noise.
And it's rubbing off on me. 

My Dear One:
Be careful!  Don't conform to the disenchantment of the world.  Don't let it's beliefs, it's weary, cynical views get inside your mind or modify your behavior. 
Allow My power and love to transform you--daily--and raise up within you a dignity that comes from strength.  I am in the business of renewing your mind and keeping you pure.  I am here to give you supernatural enthusiasm and energy.  Drink in My words and hold them in your mouth and let them be refreshing to you.  Let them give you confidence and joy.  In this way, you prove for yourself what My good and acceptable and perfect will is.
Surround yourself with Me.  Submerse your whole self in Me.
Because I love you with an unending love.
I have redeemed you from the pit.
I have written your name on My hand.
I cover you with my grace.
I cherish you.

Jeremiah 31.3; Romans 12.2; 2 Corinthians 6.17

Longing for gentleness

There are those annoying times when my need for the approval from people becomes greater than my desire to please God.  I become frustrated and my sweetness is lost.  My heart loses some of it's tenderness and I am not easily won back to God.

At these times, I am so hard on myself.  Even harder on myself than I usually am. My longing for love and acceptance starts to outweigh the loveliness that God has formed in me.  And that kind heart which cherishes and holds dear the needs of others becomes a gathering place for pain and despair.

And when I find myself needy and hungry and I long for satisfying companionship, I need to be gentle on myself and not despise the longing in my heart.  My pain is not trivial.  How can I possibly be sweet, fair and patient with others when I am not those things to myself?  I need to allow God's holy gentleness to minister to me and permit myself to be comforted and encouraged by His gentle thoughts, by His gentle love.  HE is never nasty, cranky or unkind.  The judging, spiteful, competitive hurdles I must leap in this life require His gentleness to guide me.

So.....today I will be gentle on myself.

Searching for Silence

My life has become loud, like a thundering clamor.  I feel tossed about in a raging storm, out in the darkness.  I hunger for silence.  And I run to places where I think I will find it, but the storm in there, too.  I hunger for silence in my mind.  In my spirit.  In my soul.  In my heart. 

I realize the storm is me.  I am loud, disjointed, a clanging cymbal.  I rush about and I tear up the day with too much thinking.  I waste the night in anxious thoughts, lost in the little ship that is me.    But in the storm--miracle of miracles--I hear what God says:

"To become silent before Me is to release control over your own life and destiny.  Your true life is in the silent interior of your heart where you have not yet traveled.  You have stayed outside to watch the parade, to dance with the clowns, to wear their glittering costumes, and to ride the plumed pony.  You sing the songs of cheated lovers and you are cheated.  The world of your senses guides you. 

Yes, I am in the mountains and the oceans, birds and beasts, flowers and fruits, the thunderstorms in the desert and the waving wheat and corn of the plains...all of which I created with a word. 

But your soul is the home of My Spirit.  Listen there for My still, small voice.  Journey toward love--and without fear--and leave your noisy plans and dreams.  Be still in the firey gaze of my love, even as Moses stood before the burning bush. 

Resist the impulsiveness of your senses,
your intellect,
your emotions,
and come to the secret, inner home in your heart where My Spirit lives.

I will speak to you there.  Lovingly and in silence.